so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
