oh god the rape fog is back!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
