His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I need moral support for this bender
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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