Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
