Sry I called you an 8
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
