I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
And then he peed in my hair
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