I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
