I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
