We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
