so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
