Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
