there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
