I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Oh god it's open bar.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
