You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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