if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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