i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
