So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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