I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize