I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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