so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
What a dumb baby whore.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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