I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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