Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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