the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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