That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Boobs are out for the taking
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
