I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
