Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This baby is an asshole
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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