Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
