We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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