dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
