i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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