Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My feet surprised me
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
