just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
