idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
