I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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