it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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