Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize