there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize