was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
