He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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