Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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