Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
