My first STD was from a foam party
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
