fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Green mimosas i think yes
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize