went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
