Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
