Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
