we have officially lost it.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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