is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
