i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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