I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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