I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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