also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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