hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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