I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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