Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
COCAINE IS GR8
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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