All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize