i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
