i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
