The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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