OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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