oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
