I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
