I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize