I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
