oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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