There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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