I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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